Catch Up

Well, it has been awhile, so thought I'd say something. We have been in the midst of the August rush of b-days. Birthdays are interesting, and ever changing. It is odd to have adult children, with children, and still have minor children at home. The challenge of equality, and fairness is one that has became most difficult for us all. The one thing I have definitely concluded, is, no matter how hard I try, or how much fretting I do about it, all things will not EVER seem fair to everyone. Maybe they're not, but as parents you always try to do your best. I know that I love my children beyond words, and that up til now, I have put their well being and happiness before my own. That is neither healthy, nor productive. Besides, it is like walking on a treadmill, going nowhere, or, one step forward, two steps back. You just can't win. It is a challenge that is not meant to be won. As I reflect on my own life as a young wife and mother, there were so many painful lessons I had to learn, and so many perceived injustices to push through. It certainly makes sense to me now. I can appreciate the position of various family members and friends. I think it is natural, as a parent, to some how shelter our children from the hardships we endured, but eventually we figure out that it is not always in their best interests to do so. Plus, it takes energy and sacrifice that we often don't have, to give. In the end, everyones loses in one way or another. 

 So, in closing I would say this, if we love our family with all our hearts, and are willing to make the tough decisions without regret, knowing that it is our best, there should be no reason for guilt, or shame. And whoever discovered that we have to love, and take care of ourselves first, is very right. It is hard to be a loving parent if you allow yourself to be physically and/or emotionally drained in the process. 

They're Back!

Everyone made it home safe, and somewhat sound. I went to the airport to greet them, and get some much needed hugs. Fatigue and lost luggage had everyone a bit testy, but glad to be back in smoldering Arizona. I know that I couldn't be happier to have them back! Mom

So Lonley

Well, my family finally returns to me tonight! I am so excited. Distance really does make the heart grow stronger. I haven't had the difficulty that comes with being a wife and mother, just the pleasant ponderings of the husband, children, and grandbabies that I love so dearly. Even though I have always known that nothing can come close to the love a mother feels for her child, it has been especially apparent to me this past week. We love our children, every single one, very intensely, every second of every day, for their entire lives. It may be one of the greatest gifts that out Father in heaven gives us. I now know that the realization of that fact is why I have felt the loss of my own mother in such an enormous way. As is a natural part of life, the one person in this mortal life that loved me in that unique way, is now gone from this life on earth. Having this realization has somehow helped me to have a better co-exsistance with my grief. Though still painful, it makes some sort of sense to me now. I hope that we can all come to have a better recognition of this gift. It can at times cause us inconvenience, especially for teenagers and adult children, but understanding that it all comes from that unparalleled love might just help us through some of our frustration.  Mom 

I'm Still Here!

Well, woe is me. I didn't end up getting to go to Hawaii at all. I kept hoping that I would get well enough, even spent 10 hours in the emergency room Friday, but to no avail. It just wasn't meant to be this time. Lucky for me, Hawaii isn't going anywhere. I will spend the week here alone, gaining a new appreciation for my family. I hope they have a wonderful time, and that the water is clear!  Ren