Catch Up

Well, it has been awhile, so thought I'd say something. We have been in the midst of the August rush of b-days. Birthdays are interesting, and ever changing. It is odd to have adult children, with children, and still have minor children at home. The challenge of equality, and fairness is one that has became most difficult for us all. The one thing I have definitely concluded, is, no matter how hard I try, or how much fretting I do about it, all things will not EVER seem fair to everyone. Maybe they're not, but as parents you always try to do your best. I know that I love my children beyond words, and that up til now, I have put their well being and happiness before my own. That is neither healthy, nor productive. Besides, it is like walking on a treadmill, going nowhere, or, one step forward, two steps back. You just can't win. It is a challenge that is not meant to be won. As I reflect on my own life as a young wife and mother, there were so many painful lessons I had to learn, and so many perceived injustices to push through. It certainly makes sense to me now. I can appreciate the position of various family members and friends. I think it is natural, as a parent, to some how shelter our children from the hardships we endured, but eventually we figure out that it is not always in their best interests to do so. Plus, it takes energy and sacrifice that we often don't have, to give. In the end, everyones loses in one way or another. 

 So, in closing I would say this, if we love our family with all our hearts, and are willing to make the tough decisions without regret, knowing that it is our best, there should be no reason for guilt, or shame. And whoever discovered that we have to love, and take care of ourselves first, is very right. It is hard to be a loving parent if you allow yourself to be physically and/or emotionally drained in the process.